Crypto-dildo?
I must confess that when the worldwide popularity of the series “Game of Thrones” started, I was not interested at all in watching it. I am not a fan of fantasy – even though, as a proper medievalist, I do have interest in dragons. However, somehow around the premiere of the seventh season of the show, I thought it was perhaps worth a shot. I saw in social media what a cultural phenomenon this series became, and it was also related to promoting old European art. For example, in Belfast they created and exhibited a tapestry dedicated to “Game of Thrones”, inspired by famous Bayeux Tapestry (I wrote about it HERE):
Getty Museum brilliantly used the interest around the show to promote their own digital collections; on their Instagram after every episode they published “Getty of Thrones”: a set of images, mainly medieval miniatures and prints, referring to the plot of the episode.
Besides, Getty blog provided many entries in which medievalists analysed how accurately fictional universe of Westeros refers to political and social reality of medieval Europe.
And probably that convinced me to start watching “Game of Thrones”, after all – and it just sucked me in, I am not going to lie to you. I really enjoyed numerous references to history and culture of Europe, as well as depiction of everyday life, set more or less at the dawn of Early Modern times. That includes both showing uncensored violence, and explicit erotic scenes (the Readers of my blog already know that Middle Ages were not an epoch of prudery!)
But I guess that it why my focus during watching the show sometimes shifted towards elements unnoticed by most of fans. Plot aside, I look for details. For example specific items kept in the office of Tyrion Lannister.
There is a scene when Tyrion – recently burdened with responsibility for royal finances – analyses the ledgers and discovers debts of the realm. He talks to Bronn, whom he previously hired as a sellsword / personal bodyguard. Bronn is a simple warrior; he knows nothing about finances, loans and banks. During his conversation with Tyrion, Bronn somehow nervously paces around the chamber, picking up various objects.
At some point Bronn reaches for a certain item standing on the wardrobe, and then he exchanges pointing looks with Tyrion. No reference to this thing is made in the dialogue, but we may sense that the object is somehow interesting, perhaps even indecent. After all, Tyrion Lannister was a famous whoremongerer, and Bronn never refused female company as well. So now let me ask you: do you think the mysterious item is a disguised dildo?
Analysing a character of Tyrion Lannister we may safely assume that he possessed indecent books, and most likely also sex toys. His father, lord Tywin Lannister, condemned Tyrion’s lifestyle, and threatened that to have the next whore found in his son’s bedchamber hanged. For sure in his office Tyrion would not be allowed to keep a dildo in plain sight.
The item that Bronn took has obviously phallic shape; but on the smooth white part there is some kind of brown top, in a form of a crouching figure. Officially, this whole thing is just a sculpture, a decoration piece. But I think that the brown top is removable, revealing dildo hidden inside.
And why do I think so (apart from the fact that Tyrion and Bronn exchanged quite knowing looks over this thing)? Because, as I like to say, everything already happened in the Middle Ages. Or even earlier, in ancient times.
In the collection of Musée de Picardie in Amiens there is an object dating back to the second half of the 1st century AD:
It is a sculpted penis, with a top that turns it into anthropomorphic figure. The curators describing this artwork interpret its meaning in reference to the cult of Priapus, ancient god of fertility, depicted as a man with unnaturally large, erected penis. It was a deity that was also perceived as patron of merchant sailors, providing good fortune. Sexual prowess and fertility were often considered in broader context of abundance and good luck.
But is it really right that we – contemporary scholars – tend to pin noble meaning and reference to religion or sophisticated symbolism to every indecent piece of old art? Was this disguised penis indeed related to the cult of some god, or was it simply a sex toy?
Same problem, by the way, we face when analysing medieval pilgrim badges in forms of genitals (I wrote about them HERE).
Or let’s take a look at this late medieval biscuit form (Museum für angewandte Kunst in Vienna): it depicts seller of penises. But is it a metaphor, like a „phallic tree” (a tree from which women pick fruits in forms of phalluses; I wrote about it HERE)? Or is it rather a realistic illustration of a sale of sex toys; a depiction of medieval sex-shop?
Sometimes I really feel like some of my colleagues from museums are too careful when it comes to interpreting erotic objects from their collections. Is it rooted in a myth that old art should be noble and serious, bearing deep meanings? Is it an echo of 19th-century censorship attitude (by the way, many false stereotypes about the Middle Ages, still alive today, are the result of how that epoch was misinterpreted and romanticised in the 19th century)? Or is there another problem: artworks in public domain should be available with no limits, but our present social standards require limiting access to purely erotic content for the underage viewers – so perhaps it looks better when is explained as bearing complex symboling meaning?
After all, „Game of Thrones” was R-rated, and most of the clips of this show available on YouTube are censored when it comes to explicit nudity.
And that is the difference between “our” times and the Middle Ages – back then no-one would care about sheltering children from “mature” content.But this is why I think that Tyrion Lannister had a dildo in his office: because I know medieval culture. And this may be another proof of how accurately the show referred to the reality of the medieval European culture.